Sometimes, What's Left Unsaid, Speaks The Loudest.

Another Day, another place...

2010-11-04T13:02:00.000-07:00

Right now I'd give just about anything to take this feeling away.
I can't even properly explain it...it's jjust...so gross.
My best friend is Gay.She was in love with this chick I hated.I don't easily hate/dislike people.But this woman...Ugh.Can't stand her.I told my best friend about it...She didn't do anything about it.ALL of her friends hate that chick...It really hurt that she didn't seem to care enough about all her friendships with us..She was with that girl Online, mainly.Pointless and stupid.We all thought so.And told her.But you know...she is my best friend and has been for ages...so, okay.We..."ignored" that gross feeling, for her sake.
My best friend and I live far away sadly...
I had the most amazing 9 days with my best friend.It made me feel so special to be there, in her house, with her...and it was just the two of us.It was so nice.Definitly 9 AWESOME days.Before this, I hadn't seen my best friend in ages.That biiitch she likes, saw her TWICE.It's been like...2-3 weeks...and now...that bitch is gunna go see MY best friend at HER fucking house.
PS:They arent together anymore, My best friend claims to be inlove with someone else.That bitch still loves my best friend though.Complicated?You bet.
May I note that, just a couple days ago, My best friend said : " i don't get how i could let myself fall into that state of mind..and make yu all feel like shit. itz evil, gross and wrong."

"I don't wanna be involved anymore..."
Ugh.
Is she lying, is she protecting that bitch, or herself...?Why can't I just know how the fuck she feels exactly.
She's being uber two-faced, and i hate it.
Cus she's the best friend I've ever had..and I don't ever want that to change.
I love her so much, i just can't stand the lies...................................................................................................

Come again, come around...

2010-10-28T13:27:00.000-07:00

So........:D.
Reaaally short post to say, this morning i woke up at 11, bummed around all day, didn't get dressed, didnt put makeup on, stayed in bed, went on the comp annnd then...hot chocolate milk, mnm's and whipcreeam...YUM.
Be jealous:)

If Love could have saved you, you would have never died.

2010-10-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

Death is a bitch.
A painful little whore.
A needle ready to burst your heart open.
A Killer.
People always say "Time Heals Everything".I don't think that is true.Time doesn't heal.The only thing that could "heal" death, is bringing someone back.Time doesn't bring that someone back.It just gives you time to get used to them being gone.You get used to living without that person, but it still kills you everytime you are reminded of them.If you break your leg, for example, it will heal eventually.And then in a couple weeks you're able to laugh about it, and use your leg again.Death doesn't work that way.You will never be able to laugh about it, much less be with that person again.
I'm in that stage where you don't know what's real and what's not.I've been brought up as a Christian.And I do Believe in God.But not in that snobby church like-way.I just believe, and to me that's enough.But, i'm convinced that when you die, even if Heaven doesn't exist, you go to some place good.Maybe I'm just being naive.But I think that no matter how great your life on Earth was, it doesn't end when you die.I think there is some sort of "After-Life", and it is a better place than Earth.So, Okay, That's the only good thing about Death.You know that they are somewhere safe, and that they're okay.Hopefully.

Dee,

You taught me how to Trust,
How to Love
How to be a Friend
How to be Brave
How to Smile
How to Kiss
How to Laugh
How to Make The Best Out Of Every Situation
How to have Fun
You taught me so much...
But you never taught me how to live without you.
After the funeral I got a shitload of your old stuff.
I still haven't opened it.
I'm too afraid...
I miss you.
I love you.
Your 18th bday is coming up...I know that would have been the funnest party ever.